Saturday, October 11, 2008


Posted by Siew Lee at 10/11/2008 07:18:00 AM
Am I...

Am I...

Not happy?
Am I...

Am I...

After 4 friends of mine told me this, I sit back and think of it. Ya, Hao Ting, Wei Chie, Yoon Hung and Lee San asked me, "Why do you look so sad?"...

Sometimes, I can only see myself through other people's eyes. So, it's not a suprising news that if I ever tell you, "Why do you think I look sad?"

It's just simply because I don't know why and how you guys will say so. I don't know, I do look sad. I don't know, the reasons behind it.

So, I think over and over.

Perhaps.. some symptoms shown. I can go happy suddenly, go sad for no reason and be so-called "emo" for God knows who owe me money. XD

I told you, sometimes I tend to self-abuse. And this is what it supposed to happen if I do so.

If I know what is bugging me right now, I won't be sad, because I will be stress neither.
If I know why I am sad, I won't be emo, because I will cry.
If I know why I am emo, I won't be talking, because I will hide myself.
If I know all the things I stated above didn't happen, then what's wrong with me?
I don't know, because If I know, I won't be here asking myself.

Thanks for all my friends who care for this. Thank you so much.

Living in this world, we hope and always wanting to do things that we love to do. It's suffering, if you can't do things your way, do things following what you actually want. Pleasing everyone is tiring, sooner or later, you lose yourself.

So, Im leaving it to you, to choose what you want.

I know what I am doing, and I only do what I think I should be doing. Yeah, this is me.
Of course, I might sound so not care of others feelings if I am doing so.

Hey, If I do what I think I should, it doesn't means that I don't consider others feelings before I take any action.
It doesn't means that, I don't "think" before I act.

I always hope things to only be better, not worse. If its going to get worsen, I would rather it stay at its original stage, no changes.

Once I get things, I don't hope I can ever lose it. Be it materials or others.

Complicated things will only make me go insane.
They said simple is hard. But what so hard?

I only know, Im satisfied with things I have now.
Well, men are greedy, so do I.
I want for more, however at the same time, I don't urge for anything more which can make me get into any unpleasant situation.

That's why, I ask for more, but I only let things go naturally.
Of course, things don't come just like that, efforts are there.
However, if any efforts made to get something I want didn't return to me in what I expected, I will just let it be.
No forcing.




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